is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
