I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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