I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
