Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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