You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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