I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
