No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
