Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
