For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
