I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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