he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
