Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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