Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
