I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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