I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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