Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
