my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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