Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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