remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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