He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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