What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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