he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
