Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
