Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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