Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
