Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
