Slut skills are useful in every country.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
