i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
they call him Oral-B. enough said
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Drake has all the answers
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
