I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize