i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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