Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
