You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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