nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
