dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
