so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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