Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
