Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
