I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
