i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize