he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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