plz talk dirty to me
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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