Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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