So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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