i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
