well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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