Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
