its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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