i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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