You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
