Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
