YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize