SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just found puke in my bra..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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