what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
