Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
