Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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