I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
