Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
