Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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