he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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