Umm I'm too high to move.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize