You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
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